Changing Dynamics: The Power of Acknowledgment in Couples and Families

Sometimes dynamics in relationships are complicated to untangle, so we get to work on these. But often behavioral redirection produces incredible results. One such example of that is working to create a culture of acknowledgment, support, and respectfulness. When thinking about creating a home with acknowledgment, I often point out how we observe our family members doing a great job, working hard, getting it right, being thoughtful, etc. Often we experience that but we keep it moving, walk past and on to the next Zoom call, the dishes, and getting mail with little acknowledgment. However, when we take a minute to acknowledge and verbalize what we witness, it is a true game changer. And we can do this with our partners but also with our children. "Hey babe, thanks for grabbing the mail off of my car and bringing it in." To a child, "I saw the way you worked on that essay. Way to hang in there on something that's challenging."

When I've made this effort in my home, it's extraordinary how these little moments of noticing and appreciating change dynamics. The recipient often beams from such a small gesture. Of course, it isn't small to be seen and appreciated. Because let's be honest, we rarely miss an opportunity to critique or correct when there is a concern. But there's lots of opportunity for us to recognize the good. Psychology is all an experiment, give this strategy a try. I suspect it will go a long way to changing the environment in your home.