Requirements for a Healthy Relationship: The 4 Qualities You Need

Being a suitable partner requires emotional intelligence, it is a bare bones essential. Fundamentally, it’s one’s basic humanness, the ability to relate and interact with others in a healthy way. In relationships emotional intelligence is particularly important as it helps individuals build and maintain healthy connections with their partners. The four key elements of emotional intelligence that must be present in intimate relationships are insight, empathy, ability to maintain healthy relationships, and the ability to resolve conflicts in a productive, healthy way. Here are brief definitions of each:

1.     Insight- the ability to consider and evaluate many points of view, even those not in one’s interest. The ability to apply new thinking and understanding.

2.     Empathy- the ability to imagine and feel another person’s emotional state. Having empathy would shape behavior and choices. This is a developmental task that healthy adults (and children) have as part of their moral development. 

3.     The ability to maintain healthy, long-term, relationships platonic or intimate. This is a very basic indicator requiring numerous EQ skills: collaboration, effective communication, social skills, and conflict resolution.

4.     The ability to resolve conflicts in a productive, healthy manner. This is a skill that can be worked on in therapy, but it is essential for healthy relationships--there is no work around on this one. Conflict done well connects couples because they feel seen and understood and conversely conflict done poorly pushes people apart, often creating a cycle and a negative feedback loop that is pretty useless (and often hurtful). Check out one of the many blogs I've written on conflict. 

Without these four, basic traits, a relationship with someone will be difficult, marked with dissatisfaction and likely unfulfilling or unsustainable.